Baby Happy
Baby gone
Baby missed
Baby grieved

Today mummy thought of you again.

I'm still sorry that we didn't have you. I admit. I was selfish and stupid.
Are you still waiting for us?
Have you seen grandma yet?

Grandma came to me in a dream. Two nights ago.
She said she wanted to wait.
To wait for a little JinJin.
Did she mean you?
Are you still waiting for us?

Daddy and I have got plans.
Plans that maybe you would not understand,
but I'd tell them to you anyway.

Daddy wants to try and work up to a better position.
Daddy wants to earn more money so that he can give all of us a better life.
He's always wanted to buy big fancy toys for you and Cedric.
He wanted to get new things for both of you. He still wants to.
He wants a nice big house for all of us to live comfortably in.
He wants a car to drive all of us out each weekend.

I'm sorry we never bought anything for you before.
You can share Cedric's baby bear if you don't mind.
I don't think Cedric would mind.

Mummy wants to work. To start saving money.
So that when you and Cedric come along,
we can give you and ourselves everything we need and want.

Please wait, my baby Happy. Please wait.
We will be there soon.
I hope very soon.
I cannot wait to hold both of you in my arms,
and neither can Daddy.

But we need to wait.
We need to have plans and means to give both of you a good life.
Please do not be angry.
We love you both very dearly.
No comparisons.
And if we could, we'd still like to have both of you back.

Meanwhile, stay with your grandma.
She will love both of you just as dearly and take good care of you.
And once we are ready, we will bring you home.
Home inside mummy's womb.
Home within our arms.
Home together with us here.

Please wait, my darlings. Please wait.
We love you both so much.
And mummy misses you so.